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I absolutely hate when life is unsatisfying. It feels suffocating, like my days are zooming by in flashing episodes, whether good or bad, they're not lasting and are only potent enough to entertain me for a moment, but the second I'm no longer engaged in anything, my life suddenly feels aimless. I spend those aimless moments trying to escape the feeling- go onto Facebook or Instagram- distracting myself with pointless posts and information that for some reason feel important and worth wasting my time on in the moment. But that's all it is: living in the moment, where priorities are warped and everything moves so fast, we don't have time to consider how pointless this all is, or how empty we feel. It's funny how I used to think I was just bored, but suddenly I can clearly feel the difference between being bored and being dissatisfied; being thirsty.


I don't know if it's just me or if everyone struggles with this too, but I just have so much trouble staying satisfied by God. I spent years looking and searching and intently pursuing things I thought would satisfy me, and the few scraps I've attained during my pursuits may have appeased me for a time, but they and the happiness they brought me didn't last, only leaving me feeling more empty than before. One day I was tired of it. I was praying and crying and so freaking done with spinning my wheels in the mud and asking God for this and that and whatever He gave me it and whatever I got myself, it never had anything lasting about it. I could feel those unseen forces whispering to my heart, so many heavy lies and I sat up, angry, and I said, “God- You're not a liar- You said You love me- You said You're grace is enough and only You can truly satisfy me- if I can't see or feel Your love- I'm the one with the problem- I'm the blind one- I'm the numb one- show me- show me how You love me- if You're grace is enough- I believe you- satisfy me- I don't know how You will and my flesh is afraid it won't feel satisfying- but I'm not looking to satisfy my flesh- You do whatever You say is enough- whatever I need, not what I want and You will be enough.”


I always tell people: you need to choose what you want to believe. I wanted to see proof of God's love, proof that He was going to give me the desires of my heart, before I truly surrendered to Him- I didn't realize it at the time, but I see it now. I kept saying I was giving this and that up to God, but deep in my heart, I wasn't, because I wanted it, and if He wasn't going to give it to me, I didn't know what I would do- die or die trying to get it myself. Luckily, I surrendered to God's love before reaching it myself, because not long after, when I was feeling ever so satisfied in God's love, that desire resurfaced and fell into my lap, and although it was wonderful and beautiful and almost everything I wanted, it turned out to not be what I expected, and not near satisfying. In fact, it brought more service than peaceful satisfaction.  


But it took surrender and it still does every day. I had to surrender to God's love, before I was going to see the faithfulness of it in my life. I had to submit myself to it before I was going to feel it with certainty and believe it in the deepest parts of my heart. I had to choose to believe that God loved me more than a person could. I had to choose to believe that only He would satisfy my and that He would, in fact, satisfy me. Not believe it in my head, but hold onto it in my heart, like hoping on a promise and telling the Nay-Sayers, “I believe Him- He promised and I believe-” And never forget that YOU are a Nay-Sayer. You are going to be the hardest one to convince and the one harassing your own beliefs the most. You have to tell yourself what you're choosing to believe and hold onto to it every day.


I forgot about all this- I've been feeling so dissatisfied lately and wandering around without purpose. We spend our lives in pursuit of satisfaction, whether it's security, relationships, building a family, having wealth and being successful, or being recognized- none of these things will satisfy us. I can guarantee it. Some people say, we're not meant to be satisfied, that if we were, life would be boring, aimless- I agree- because being 'satisfied' in the things of this world does only leave you feeling aimless or let down- we need a constant pursuit and we need stability at the same time- that's why knowing who God is, is the only thing that will ever satisfy us: because there is an infinite universe to discover, of the character and love of God. I've heard people say that they don't want to go to Heaven because it will be boring- bad things won't be allowed to happen- what will there be to do for eternity? To live for- to fight for? Stories are life and no one wants to read a story where nothing bad happens. Sometimes we think the same thing about being satisfied with God- that once God satisfies us, all conflict in our lives will cease to exist, but if it did, our lives would still be aimless, there would be no growth, no purpose, no fight, no victory.  


We need satisfaction in our lives but we also need pursuit. To be satisfied in God is not to be pulled out of all suffering and hardship, but to have a way through it. It's to be satisfied by your relationship with God, in the face of all pain. It's to have something to pursue that never runs dry, never fails you, never turns you away, never ends- there is always more to know of Jesus. He is both the Rock on which we can stand, supporting us in times of trouble, and the love of our lives, running excitedly toward the goal He has for us and calling us to pursue after Him, to run beside Him. He takes your hand, dragging you on behind Him, wanting earnestly to show you what's on the other side of each hill, and the hills never end, there's always another you can travel with Him, but they are full of valleys of rest, where we can sit and just enjoy Jesus. This is what satisfies- to spend the rest of your life, here and in eternity, getting to know God.

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HBPen
Hannah
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
"Let all the skilled artisans among you come, and make everything the Lord has commanded." Exodus 35:10

I don't have a preferred medium of art, I like to dabble in everything, BUT that being said, writing tends to be less frustrating to my perfectionist OCD lol. I have a million and one stories waiting to be written but I'm desperately trying to get this ONE finished, so that all my work can start to support me. I'm starting to try to not be such a perfectionist and see my art the way other's see it- so that I can take commissions and get the job done without becoming emotionally involved haha

I'm taking free commissions right now, I'd just absolutely be so appreciative of kind donations to my paypal account, to fund a missions trip this coming June. I've been charged not to talk about the trip over social media because it could endanger our chances of getting into the country, but if you have any questions, I can talk about it through email ;D So keep me in your prayers!

I really like g/t I just wish there was cleaner g/t- so, instead of just wishing, I hope to make my own. It's what I always do anyway. I see a movie or a book and I like the story or character so much I have to make one of my own the way I would have done it. I don't do vore, though I try to remain realistic while not being too graphic. I'm not going to write about pervs- it's just not happening.

I'm a Christian, no I was not brain-washed. I'm a Homeschooler, no my parents do not keep me in a closet. I'm a redhead, no I do no- OH WAIT. Yes I do have a temper.

Do Christians annoy you? Well, mean people annoy me. Tell you what, you can talk trash to me, if I can talk Christ to you. Fair is fair. ;]

Please do not try to talk to me through personal notes, unless I know you and have met you in person. I'd like to think anything you have to say to me can be seen by the thousands of other deviants. ;]

I love this! The following is written by CheyennevanStrange cheyennevanstrange.deviantart.…

Dear Acquaintances,

To the Sin family, of the House of Sin, in the Providence of Flesh, in the Kingdom of Satan:
Arrogance,
Pride,
Greed,
Hate,
Gluttony,
Lust,
Envy,
Sloth,
Occult,
And extended family

Consider this a formal declaration of war.

Goodbye,

- A Slave of Sin Saved by Grace

Current Residence: The Moon.
Favourite genre of music: Every genre you can think of [in the Christian catagory] EXCEPT Metal with ONLY screaming. lol
Favourite style of art: Anything that comes to mind.
MP3 player of choice: none, MP4 player lol, ipod!
Favourite cartoon character: Pooh Bear all the way. hahaha
Personal Quote: For if God is with is, who can be a against us? Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.- AP

My blog: losingmyselftogod.blogspot.com…
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Activity


My God is a King,
Disguised as a Knight,
Stepped down from His palace,
And into my night,
He mounted a horse,
And swiftly He road,
Through the dark wilderness,
With His kingly head low,
His armor was speckled,
With the mud which flew,
From the road which He took,
The only way through,
And though He was muddied,
His armor shone bright,
Through the filth and the grime,
By the moon in the sky,
And all that stood hidden,
The outcasts and thieves,
That cowered and crouched,
In those forsaken trees,
They knew by the glint,
Of His splendid apparel,
That a Savior road by,
On His way to slay peril,
And when He arrived,
At my slovenly shack,
He leapt from His steed,
And He never looked back,
He strode to the hobble,
And gently He opened,
The door to the pigsty,
That of which I dwelt in,
And there at the wall,
Did I cower beneath,
The hand of my lover,
A murderer and cheat,
And I wept and I begged,
That he would love me still,
That he'd not punish me,
Ever faithful to his will,
But he was cruel man,
And no lover of me,
No his only joy,
Was the destruction of me,
But in came my God,
A King in disguise,
A Knight from the forest,
A muddy, brilliant sight,
And when my cruel lover,
Did see the strange man,
He growled with such rage,
I did not understand,
He beat me and screamed,
That I'd betrayed his love,
Oh he'd given me all,
My desires far n' above,
I shrunk and I screamed back,
I was faithful till end,
And I demanded this man,
Leave us be to amend,
But the Knight did not flinch,
Nor did He draw a sword,
He only moved carefully,
Across the the dirt floor,
And when He did near us,
I found that my heart,
Did fear this Knight more,
Than my lover's strikes hard,
His presence held authority,
And His head was held high,
Yet He spoke not a word,
Raised no hand to strike,
What was His purpose here,
To punish or save me?
Something about Him,
Said He had right to take me,
But as I collapsed,
Under my lovers frantic blows,
He stepped in between us,
Took pain a King's never known,
He did not fight back,
As He stood like a wall,
Between me and death,
Taking every bit and all,
I admit in those moments,
I mocked the mad fool,
That He too received the blows,
His presence provoked my lover to,
He fell beneath his hand,
And let the man I'd let beat me,
Pour out all I'd asked for,
All I had sold myself to reap,
He beat Him to a pulp,
And to a pile on the floor,
He let the cad remove His splendor,
The royal armor which He wore,
And when my lover ripped it off,
And cast it to the side,
He beat the stranger-Knight's still body,
Until I was certain he'd taken His life,
And after he had finished,
My cruel lover turned to me,
“He was such a fool to love you,
Now that He's dead, you belong to me,”
He dragged the body to the corner,
And left me to myself,
To wonder why this Knight,
Had come to die and leave me in hell,
The night waned on a lifetime,
As I sat alone beside,
The body of that brave and mad,
Stranger dressed in light,
I watched His chest for hours,
Quietly hoping it'd rise again,
And wondering why I hoped for such,
When I knew all hope was dead,
I studied that bloodied face,
A mix of grief and pain and peace,
Bruised beyond recognition,
Mutilated to say the least,
The sky outside the lone window,
Turned a glowing shade of blue,
But I couldn't find hope in the morning,
All hope was gone I knew,
I took the weathered shawl,
From my frail and trembling frame,
And drew it over the stranger's face,
In a last attempt to honor His name,
But in a flash of light,
And a thunderous, roaring quake,
The Knight's form rose from stillness,
And my lover ran away,
He rose up to His feet to stand,
Just as tall as before,
His splendid armor took back to Him,
Fitting justly to His form,
The mud fell from the metal,
And the bruises seemed to fade,
But the mark left from His beating,
Proof of His battle remained,
I dared not move or say a word,
And prayed He would not see,
The pile of rags and bones in the ashes,
The pitiful sight of me,
But His eyes fell on my form,
And they looked into my soul,
And I pulled my gaze away,
Because my heart He'd overcome,
And I wished that He would love me,
But never was I more aware,
That I was so unworthy,
For in His beating I did share,
I cheered it on in bitterness,
Glad it was not me,
Knowing I deserved the blows,
And now knowing He was King,
He stepped through the dirt and ash,
His footsteps coming near,
And my heart recoiled quivering,
In the deepest, fiercest fear,
He crouched down right before me,
And reached out for my face,
But I closed my eyes in terror,
Knowing I had no right to gaze,
An eternity passed by,
When suddenly He spoke,
“Come now let us reason,
I will make you white as snow,”
And with those still and quiet words,
My heart did melt within me,
How could it be for all I was,
That He a King should love me?
Yet still I was unable,
To lift my eyes to His,
I saw His opened hand.,
And the scars that marred His wrist,
With tremulous, quivering fingers,
I reached hesitant for His hand,
Fearing that my touch,
Might send Him reeling back to stand,
For this was no mere Knight,
This was my God, my King and enemy,
I'd set myself against Him,
And I had never been more unworthy,
But He did not retreat,
And nor did He hesitate,
But for my hand to rest,
In the crook of His did He ever wait,
And when my hand did mold to His,
He grasped it gentle and firmly,
He pulled me to my feet,
And my legs gave way beneath me,
He scooped me up into His arms,
Without a word of protest,
He carried me out of my shack,
And shut the door behind us,
My God is like a King,
Disguised as a Knight,
He swept me off my feet,
And drew me into light,
And though we travel through these woods,
Until we reach His palace,
He has never left my side,
Shown only love and never malice,
My God Is A King Disguised As A Knight
Honestly this feels like a chapter one to a poem fairytale testimony lol To God be the glory- He is the Author I am only the pen.
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Figure Study 1 by HBPen
Figure Study 1
Really trying to pin down different figures. To God be the glory- He is the artist; I'm only the pen.
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Sometimes I just wanna hit myself in the face with a hammer.. yeah-yes- that sounds good- because I always do the same dumb stuff, like cut my bangs myself- open up to people- make myself vulnerable and all anxious again- what happened to not caring- one day I would like to know just what is wrong with me. 😑

I absolutely hate when life is unsatisfying. It feels suffocating, like my days are zooming by in flashing episodes, whether good or bad, they're not lasting and are only potent enough to entertain me for a moment, but the second I'm no longer engaged in anything, my life suddenly feels aimless. I spend those aimless moments trying to escape the feeling- go onto Facebook or Instagram- distracting myself with pointless posts and information that for some reason feel important and worth wasting my time on in the moment. But that's all it is: living in the moment, where priorities are warped and everything moves so fast, we don't have time to consider how pointless this all is, or how empty we feel. It's funny how I used to think I was just bored, but suddenly I can clearly feel the difference between being bored and being dissatisfied; being thirsty.


I don't know if it's just me or if everyone struggles with this too, but I just have so much trouble staying satisfied by God. I spent years looking and searching and intently pursuing things I thought would satisfy me, and the few scraps I've attained during my pursuits may have appeased me for a time, but they and the happiness they brought me didn't last, only leaving me feeling more empty than before. One day I was tired of it. I was praying and crying and so freaking done with spinning my wheels in the mud and asking God for this and that and whatever He gave me it and whatever I got myself, it never had anything lasting about it. I could feel those unseen forces whispering to my heart, so many heavy lies and I sat up, angry, and I said, “God- You're not a liar- You said You love me- You said You're grace is enough and only You can truly satisfy me- if I can't see or feel Your love- I'm the one with the problem- I'm the blind one- I'm the numb one- show me- show me how You love me- if You're grace is enough- I believe you- satisfy me- I don't know how You will and my flesh is afraid it won't feel satisfying- but I'm not looking to satisfy my flesh- You do whatever You say is enough- whatever I need, not what I want and You will be enough.”


I always tell people: you need to choose what you want to believe. I wanted to see proof of God's love, proof that He was going to give me the desires of my heart, before I truly surrendered to Him- I didn't realize it at the time, but I see it now. I kept saying I was giving this and that up to God, but deep in my heart, I wasn't, because I wanted it, and if He wasn't going to give it to me, I didn't know what I would do- die or die trying to get it myself. Luckily, I surrendered to God's love before reaching it myself, because not long after, when I was feeling ever so satisfied in God's love, that desire resurfaced and fell into my lap, and although it was wonderful and beautiful and almost everything I wanted, it turned out to not be what I expected, and not near satisfying. In fact, it brought more service than peaceful satisfaction.  


But it took surrender and it still does every day. I had to surrender to God's love, before I was going to see the faithfulness of it in my life. I had to submit myself to it before I was going to feel it with certainty and believe it in the deepest parts of my heart. I had to choose to believe that God loved me more than a person could. I had to choose to believe that only He would satisfy my and that He would, in fact, satisfy me. Not believe it in my head, but hold onto it in my heart, like hoping on a promise and telling the Nay-Sayers, “I believe Him- He promised and I believe-” And never forget that YOU are a Nay-Sayer. You are going to be the hardest one to convince and the one harassing your own beliefs the most. You have to tell yourself what you're choosing to believe and hold onto to it every day.


I forgot about all this- I've been feeling so dissatisfied lately and wandering around without purpose. We spend our lives in pursuit of satisfaction, whether it's security, relationships, building a family, having wealth and being successful, or being recognized- none of these things will satisfy us. I can guarantee it. Some people say, we're not meant to be satisfied, that if we were, life would be boring, aimless- I agree- because being 'satisfied' in the things of this world does only leave you feeling aimless or let down- we need a constant pursuit and we need stability at the same time- that's why knowing who God is, is the only thing that will ever satisfy us: because there is an infinite universe to discover, of the character and love of God. I've heard people say that they don't want to go to Heaven because it will be boring- bad things won't be allowed to happen- what will there be to do for eternity? To live for- to fight for? Stories are life and no one wants to read a story where nothing bad happens. Sometimes we think the same thing about being satisfied with God- that once God satisfies us, all conflict in our lives will cease to exist, but if it did, our lives would still be aimless, there would be no growth, no purpose, no fight, no victory.  


We need satisfaction in our lives but we also need pursuit. To be satisfied in God is not to be pulled out of all suffering and hardship, but to have a way through it. It's to be satisfied by your relationship with God, in the face of all pain. It's to have something to pursue that never runs dry, never fails you, never turns you away, never ends- there is always more to know of Jesus. He is both the Rock on which we can stand, supporting us in times of trouble, and the love of our lives, running excitedly toward the goal He has for us and calling us to pursue after Him, to run beside Him. He takes your hand, dragging you on behind Him, wanting earnestly to show you what's on the other side of each hill, and the hills never end, there's always another you can travel with Him, but they are full of valleys of rest, where we can sit and just enjoy Jesus. This is what satisfies- to spend the rest of your life, here and in eternity, getting to know God.

Why is it so important that there be clear consent between two people before having sex? This sounds like a dumb question- because none of us, want to be made to sleep with someone without our consent- but really, think about a clear answer- if it's so important and commonly believed, there should be a simple answer. Just like, why is it so important not to jump off a bridge without a secure line? Because you will hit the ground and die. Just as common sense clearly states not to jump from certain heights without a line, so it states sex must be consensual. So why? And why does it take us a little longer to come up with answer to this question than it did for the other? They're both common sense- what's the deal?


Here's the easy answer: it's wrong. But that answer doesn't hold up with everyone and many would say right and wrong are subjective, so let me give you the straight answer.


Sex is sacred. Just as the deep parts of a person's heart and soul are sacred and the knowledge of such things must be earned through trust and worthiness- so are the inner and hidden parts of our bodies. Nakedness is special, it's meant to be treated like the deep secrets and dreams of our hearts, not kept in shame, but kept out of value. It is valuable, like a painting that must be paid to see, because if it's posted on a street in public where everyone can see, it's not valuable, it's public. If it's hanging in a home where only a select few have seen it, then it's enjoyed by those in passing, but not cherished and not special. BUT if only one is allowed to see it, to explore it, to know it's strokes and every color used and see all the hidden things added in, quirks and imperfections that make it unique. If only one has seen and knows the painting, it is more valuable to that one person, given the right to see it, than it would be to the world of people who have the ability to see it, but not the right.


You have to earn the right to see someone's nakedness- to explore their body or touch them- the right is given- to those they trust with it- to the one they choose- and they have “the right to refuse service to anyone” they deem unworthy.


In dating and getting into someone's pants, it's common belief that it only takes being “liked” by someone or sometimes “loved” to reach this place, but deep down, it takes proving yourself. The world would have us believe sex is not special, it's just pleasure, and any guidelines or processes you choose to find someone and/or reach that pleasure peak, is simply personal preference. I mean we do choose people we trust, most of is anyway- some are desperate enough to be sexually gratified by whoever they can get. They hand out that consent like it's pennies- we've got so many we don't know what to do with them- but having a wealth of pennies doesn't make you rich- it devalues the pennies- they mean nothing to you anymore. Consent to sex becomes worthless to us when we give it out like that. It means nothing, it doesn't need to be protected or cherished- and you're setting yourself up to be treated in the same way: undervalued. I don't blame them- if I had had the opportunity I would have done the same- I know I was desperate enough to share my inner-self, emotionally and physically, to feel loved.


The problem is, just because you let someone in, doesn't mean they love or even like what they see- and I'm not talking physically- I'm talking about 'you.' Someone may find you attractive, the most attractive person on the planet, but getting them to that point doesn't guarantee that they see or understand or know or cherish 'you.' Isn't that what we want to be loved for? Our hearts? Our souls? Yeah it takes time to find someone- I've never met anyone who loved me or knew me or understood or cherished me- not in that way- maybe my mom lol. I'm not looking for perfect love either, just the desire to love perfectly- the motivation to cherish me in all my quirks and imperfections.


Can we all agree here- that nakedness is sacred to us? No one wants to have their nakedness posted for everyone to see, no matter how attractive they consider themselves. Now why in the world is it so shaming to have our nakedness shared with the masses? Or even just one, whom we did not give consent? Why is the feeling ground into us, that our bodies are to be concealed and only revealed to those we trust? It's not ground into us, society is trying to teach us differently- it's absolutely everywhere! So why is our nakedness sacred? Is anything in this world so naturally and instinctively sacred to us? Life maybe- how can sex and the life of another person or living thing, both be equally as sacred? Society wouldn't tell you the life of someone is as sacred as keeping nakedness concealed. Why is that?


Because the sanctity of life is universally cherished- no one knows what happens after you die and common sense says not risk someone's existence on the unknown afterlife. But we all know what happens after sex- it's just physical- if not done violently, it doesn't hurt you- right? The physical world proves as much- but what about the intangible? Sanctity is intangible isn't it? So why judge the sanctity of something by the physical outcome and not by the intangible outcome?


How does non-consensual sex affect our spirits? It hurts, it's disarming, degrading, devaluing, objectifying, dehumanizing. I think it's important to note that Christianity is one of the only religions to address the sanctity of sex. Why? We've come to believe that it's just another rule, whether from God or men, that sex must stay within marriage, and it's just to take away our chances at pleasure, because having sex before or outside of marriage 'doesn't hurt anyone.' But if sanctity is intangible, lets not look at the physical outcome, but the intangible one.


What no one wants to believe anymore, is that sex binds you to a person, letting someone in like that, trusting them with so much of yourself- all of yourself- trusting them while being at your most vulnerable place- giving them the most valuable thing you have- consent to your inner-self, body and soul. You have to be close to that person in that moment, to be so vulnerable and be enjoyed instead of scorned and pleased instead of hurt, it knits your spirit to that person. And when the moment passes and that person leaves, because they like your body but not your heart enough to want to stay and know more of you and only you for the rest of their life, well, that binding on your spirit and theirs is ripped apart. When they become repulsed by some part of your heart or hurt you because they really only cared about pleasing themselves and not taking care of or cherishing you, that binding is ripped apart. It hurts. You let them in and they didn't love everything about you- they didn't want to.


I used to think marriage and relationships were about finding someone who fit with you, who was like-minded or similar or just liked you- I used to believe you had to find the person who matched you and just for some reason loved you, because you two were made for each other- and everything would fall into place- but you can't go in on it like that. People aren't made for each other- not like that. You won't love them all the time- you won't find them attractive all the time- 'But it's not about you.'


You have to want to love someone- you have to choose someone you are willing to love and take care of, willing to explore the inner-parts of their heart for the rest of your lives, no matter what you find- that's your person and you want the best for them. Someone you want to help heal and nurture, to be the wonderful person they have the potential to be.


                       

This is why the Bible says sex is to be within marriage- it's sacred and valuable and needs to be protected to protect your heart. Marriage isn't just the person who will satisfy your sexual needs for the rest of your life, or the person you have the most fun with, or the person that will make the best partner when things get rough- it's not, about, you. Marriage and sex, hand in hand, are meant for the person you find and decide, I want to love you, because you need someone to love you, and as imperfect as I know you are and as unworthy as I know I am for the job, I want to be that person.

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:iconsanguinewinds:
SanguineWinds Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2016   Photographer
It's so awesome coming across others who are unafraid to say here that they serve the Lord! I noticed in your section where you list, bulleted, sins, you have "occult." I was heavily into the occult (and, very specifically, darker aspects of occultism) before the Lord Jesus Christ became my Redeemer.
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:iconhbpen:
HBPen Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey, am I correct in reading that you just turned to Jesus this March? I was snooping on your profile 'cause I'm bored lol, but that's so awesome. You're so young in your faith, I've honestly never seen anyone turn to Jesus in my life- it's really inspiring, especially hearing where you've come from. Don't stop seeking to know Jesus more. As someone who asked Jesus into their heart at age 7 I can tell you, there's never a peek to knowing who Jesus is- there's always more to know- He's infinitely deep and full of love that will continue to blow your mind for the rest of your life if you pursue it. I'm praying for you <3
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:iconsanguinewinds:
SanguineWinds Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2016   Photographer
I just wanted to say thanks for this comment. It's something I really needed to see and hear from somebody. And, yeah, it was just at the start of March that I became a Christian. Prior to that, I was a semi-theistic (leaning atheistic), modern Luciferian, and I practiced dark forms of witchcraft such as Luciferian Adversarial Magick and Traditional Satanic Witchcraft (both of which involved working closely with beings like Lucifer, Satan, Leviathan, Belial, Lilith, etc etc, and various lesser demonic entities). It's honestly a miracle that I was able to go from my Luciferianism to Christianity. As I've told people, that's essentially doing the impossible there. The worldview of my Luciferianism was the exact opposite of a Christian worldview. Converting was really difficult and still poses many obstacles for me, as it's very hard to entirely abandon the daily mentality that Luciferianism breeds. It's not an ideology that is easily shaken off when someone is as deeply into it as I was. It was turning me into a very selfish and cruel-hearted person. It will be some time before I have completely recovered from it, and I'm always afraid that those beings are going to grab me and pull me back into it. But they cannot, for I am in the hands of Christ now. Thank you for your prayers, dearest sister.
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:iconhbpen:
HBPen Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That list was actually written by another artist on here, Thankyou and likewise :)
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:icondust-bunie:
dust-bunie Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2016
Anytime! :)
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:iconsugumih:
Sugumih Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2016
Thanks you very much for the fav ><
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:iconhbpen:
HBPen Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No prob ;D
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:iconwhisperedinsanity:
WhisperedInsanity Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2016  Student Writer
Thank you so much for the favourites on "Scales" and "Tinderbox"! I appreciate it<3 :happybounce: 
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:iconhbpen:
HBPen Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Np I loved them!
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:icontp32:
tp32 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015
Happy Birthday !!
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